Normally I am embarrassed by my fellow countrymen's small-minded views concerning Eastern European immigrants.

Normally.

But I just wandered into a Subway looking for a nice VEGGIE patty 6 " sub, only to be told by a sour-faced Polish (presumably) woman that I would just have to make do with a salad sandwich.

Em, no.

See the problem is Eastern European customer service. The main problem is that it doesn't exist. Now, I've travelled extensively through Hungary, Czech Rep., Slovak Rep. and Romania, and found that people are unable to serve you in these countries with a smile.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!

No problem, come to my country, but for Christsakes please learn to be an arselicker. I LIKE to feel like the most important person in the world when I'm being served.

And, most importantly, I'm proud that my country has some of the best customer service in the world. (Although there's not much else to be proud about...)