Being a vegetarian is not hard. I have been one for four days. I am alive. Good.

But.

There is a but.

A big one.

My poo smells different. In a bad way. I mean, sure, it technically smells sweeter and perhaps more pleasing to other people. But to me, the old familiar smell of dead goat and festering geriatric bunions was familiar and homely.

Now, when I go to the toilet, I take a sniff and think there must be someone else in the next cubicle.

But I am all alone...